Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
