Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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