You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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