So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize