i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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