is your mom at the bar?
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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