:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
