just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
