found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I enjoy the company of your penis
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
