I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
