5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
