hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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