I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
