i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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