We're like a lot better than the average bears
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
