Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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