I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You left your phone here
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