i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
