swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
