I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
