i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can't put those talents on a resume
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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