So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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