Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
