If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
