Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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