I met the friendliest cop last night
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
