before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
