can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i dont even know how to be here
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
