you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
