you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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