your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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