i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
