He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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