you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
