i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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