guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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