Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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