You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
