My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
