Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
