The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize