Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think your dad took our porno
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
