I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
