Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize