Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
