in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
