Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
