Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
