For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
