Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Is it penis luge time yet?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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