jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize