God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
