never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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