I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Your penis caused this!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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