If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
