Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize