I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
