That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Blood and glitter go together right?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
