Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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