It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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