so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
