I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
