You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
