I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
