Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
