6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize