yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
